The Eagle and the Hen

Once upon a time, an eagle's egg ended up in a barn where a hen was hatching her eggs. Weeks passed. And the little eaglet was hatched with the other chickens. The eagle ran happily on the straw pecking for grain with the other chickens.

But as time passed, the eaglet felt the urge to fly. "When will you teach me how to fly?" it said to its mother, the hen.

The mother hen knew she couldn't fly and did not know how to teach the young eagle in the art of flight. But she was too ashamed. "Not yet, my child. I will teach you when you are ready," she said.

Months passed. The eagle by now figured out that the mother didn't know how to fly. And though the eagle wanted to fly, it could not get itself to break loose and fly on its own. Its deepest instinct to soar high had become confused with the gratitude it felt toward the mother bird that hatched it.

This story is told by a spiritual guru Antony de Mello.

This is a chilling story. There are so many ways we can hinder ourselves, or hinder others, out of good intent.

We hinder ourselves when we do not listen to our deepest desires. We tell ourselves, "I should be grateful for this or that." We settle for less. We stay stuck to the ground when we should be flying.

We can also do this to others. As a parent I am aware that one day I might be tempted to hold back my son from fulfilling his potential because I want him too much for myself.

When I was eighteen, I can still see my parents waving goodbye tearfully at the airport as I walked through the security gates to board the plane that would fly me to America. I left home that day. Yes, I returned to Malaysia, and I often returned to visit my parents, but I had left home. I am amazed by their ability to let me go. I admire and love my parents because they did not hinder my desire to fly.

This story also makes me think of my country, Malaysia. The government has enforced a bunch of laws and policies that essentially says that we are not yet ready. Not yet ready for free speech. Not yet ready for full equality. Not yet ready for a level playing ground. My country tells me, "I will teach you how to fly when you are ready, but not yet. Meanwhile, learn to be grateful for how I have taken care of you."

I am a big believer of gratitude. Let us be grateful for our family, our mothers and fathers, and for daily blessings.

But this story of the hen and the baby eagle reveals to me the dark side of gratitude -- especially when it smothers our heart's deepest desires.